The Adventures of Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy

The Adventures of
Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy
By Erin Jones

Introduction
Well hello there. Have you come to hear a story? Yes, well let’s see if this satisfies your taste buds. *clears throat* It was a normal day at Food Co. Until: ZOOM, CRASH, BOOM, the evil villain, The Burgernator, crashes through the Empire State Building to race over to the Burger King to steal all the onion rings for total world domination! But then there was a bolt of lightning. Taco Man and his trusty sidekick Bongo Bean Boy bounce into action. Then BOOM, BAM, POW! The Burgernator is toast.
Click
Click, click.
“Ah man, nothing’s on TV,” said Taco Man, a.k.a Steve Louski.
“Hey Taco Man?” asked Bongo Bean Boy, a.k.a Edward Louski.
“What did I tell you? Don’t you ever call me Taco Man at home! It might blow our cover!” shouted Taco Man
“Okay, Steve, what’s for dinner? `Cause Henri is hungry and so am I.” replied Edward. Then a scream of terror covered the town. It was a woman crying for help. “Help me, help me!”
“Quickly Bongo Bean Boy, down the shoot to the secret layer!” directed Taco Man.
“If it is so secret then why does Mother know about it?” questioned Bongo Bean Boy.
“Uhhhh… because she’s family, Jeez!” screamed Taco Man.
“And my turtle isn’t?!” Bongo Bean Boy accusingly asked.
“…Uh, go, go, go, hurry down the shoot!” demanded Taco Man.
As the two super heroes slid down the shoots Bongo Bean Boy exclaimed,“OUCH! Taco Man you said you fixed the low bar on the ceiling of my shoot!” wailed Bongo Bean Boy.
“Uh, I guess I kinda forgot, sorry,” said Taco Man.
Simultaneously the two super heroes both said, “OUCH!”
“We need a landing pad,” said Bongo Bean Boy through gritted teeth.
“Yeah, I agree, it hurts my super butt every time,” complained Taco Man.
15 minutes later Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy were in town ready for action. When suddenly, BAM! Bongo Bean Boy was hit over the head with a fry pan!
“Nooooooooo,” shouted Taco Man. “Bongo Bean Boy speak to me!”
“Save the citizen,” whispered Bongo Bean Boy as he fell unconscious.
“Very well,” said Taco Man in a very heroic voice.
As Taco Man was flying through the air, the mysterious lady screamed again.
“Help, ahhhhhh, help me, help me!” When Taco Man finally reached the crime scene, The Burgernator was there. The mysterious lady was tied to a pole about to fall off the building. Taco Man came to the rescue. when he got up to the woman he tried to untie her but she was restless, and kept jerking.
“I don’t need your help thank you.” said the mysterious woman.
“It seems you do need help, considering you are about to fall off a building,” answered Taco Man. As Taco Man and the mysterious woman babbled on and on whether she needed help or not, a great evil laugh ran through Taco Man’s head.
“Oh no, The Burgernator he must be up to something,” announced Taco Man. “Sorry miss, but I must leave you for a minute.” Taco Man backed up for a running start and then he was flying through the air on his new flying lettuce carpet which can go 43 MPH and was donated to him by the Flying Lettuce Co. He soared down to the town where The Burgernator had a mysterious captive. When he got there noticed that the captive was Bongo Bean Boy!
“Let my sidekick go, Burgernator!” directed Taco Man.
“Never,” laughed The Burgernator. “You must fight me for him. You can have him tonight but if you lose, then Bongo Blizzard Boy is mine,” explained The Burgernator. “Bongo Bean Boy, Bongo Bean Boy! Not Blizzard Boy! Bean Boy! I’m not from Dairy Queen!” shouted Bongo Bean Boy. “Whatever,” replied The Burgernator.
“Very well, I declare an F.F.D.,” proposed Taco Man.
“Tomorrow at 7 am, don’t be late,” said The Burgernator sounding very intimidating as he ran off within seconds. Taco Man then raced back to the mysterious woman and untied her, despite her protests.

F.F.D. Food Fight Duel
“So, who are you again?” asked the mysterious woman.
“If you don’t remember, I am Taco Man,” said Taco Man in very strong voice.
“Right,” replied the mysterious woman.
“So, uh, who are you and, uh, where do you live?” politely asked Taco Man.
“I, uh, don’t have a home near by and anyway, I am a super hero so I don’t need your help,” exclaimed the mysterious woman.
“You are? Well what is your name, miss?” said Taco Man sounding very intrigued.
“I am the all powerful Chilly Philly,” said the Chilly Philly as she ripped off her clothes revealing her super suit.
“You are!? Oh my Gosh I am like your biggest fan!” said Taco Man in a girly squeal.
“Taco Man hurry up. The F.F.D. is starting soon! Oh my Gosh it, it, it, it is! It’s the all-powerful Chilly Philly from episode #372 The Chilly Philly meets the sour cream,” shouted Bongo Bean Boy in a nerdy scream.
“Well, Miss Philly, you must come and watch me kick Burgernator butt!” said Taco Man trying to impress her.
“OK, but on one condition; I get to help you fight,” said the Chilly Philly grinning with superiorness. Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy stood silently. No one knows why exactly. Maybe they were so excited that The Chilly Philly would be fighting side by side with them that they were speechless. Or maybe they were just so hungry for tacos and refried beans that they forgot to speak. Twenty minutes later they were flying through the air on Taco Man’s flying lettuce carpet and Bongo Bean Boy was trying out his new rocket can car (can of beans of course), which was not going so well I might add. He jumped back on his floating bean bike with a new black bean sticker.
“Turn there,” directed Bongo Bean Boy to Taco Man.
“Here we go!” shouted Taco Man to the Chilly Philly.
Now Bongo Bean Boy was having some troubles steering because he was staring at Chilly Philly a.k.a. Jessica Habbit.
The Tights
Taco Man emerged from the Mr. Good Bar doors and then The Burgernator appeared from the opposite side of the rink at the Hot Tamale entrance, in his Chilly Philly tights.
“Let the duel begin!” announced Mayor Spicy Tuna.
“Wow they made Chilly Philly merchandise?” said The Chilly Philly as she looked surprised.
“Why don’t we have merchandise?” questioned Taco Man as he broke down crying.
“Yeah, I want Chilly Philly tights to go with my Chilly Philly sheets!” claimed Bongo Bean Boy as he broke down crying.
“You have Chilly Philly sheets? I thought those were for girls only,” questioned The Chilly Philly.
“Excuse me for just a second, I have to go make an exchange at the uhhh… drugstore, yeah, let’s go with that,” said Bongo Bean Boy as he was running towards the exit to run back to his bedroom in the Taco Layer. He froze. Oh no! The Burgernator was holding him with one of his slushy freeze rays! Then The Burgernator flung Bongo Bean Boy back and locked him in a hot jalapena pepper bar cage.
“Mua ha, ha, ha, mua ha, ha, ha!” *coughing* “Now I will surely win!” shouted The Burgernator.
The duel began. Taco Man was in the zone. He was defeating everything that The Burgernator was throwing at him. Until, oh no! Taco Man was hit by one of The Burgernator’s pickle punches!! Taco Man fell to the ground, and right when everybody thought all hope was lost, he bounced back up and defeated The Burgernator with a salmon smoke bomb.
“You,” *coughing,* “knew that,” *coughing,* “salmon is my,” *coughing, more coughing, and more coughing,* “was my weakness,” *coughing, coughing, coughing…and still more coughing.*
“You did it, Taco Man! You defeated The Burgernator!” congratulated The Chilly Philly. Taco Man blushed and then flew away on his flying lettuce carpet.
“Oh Chilly Philly, over here!” called Bongo Bean Boy.
“Oh sorry, Bongo Bean Boy, I forgot you were here. Let me get you out of there,” apologized The Chilly Philly. As she was about to open the cage with her Philly Steak breath, The Burgernator’s sidekick, Cinnamon Girl, sprang into action. The Chilly Philly and Cinnamon Girl started to fight. Taco Man arrived back at the arena `cause he remembered that he forgot to get Bongo Bean Boy out of the cage. Then he saw the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He ran over to the woman. He noticed that The Chilly Philly and his dream girl were fighting, and remarkably well at that. He dashed over to The Chilly Philly and pushed her aside and started talking, actually flirting to Cinnamon Girl. Then The Chilly Philly took Bongo Bean Boy out of the cage.
“Thanks, I was getting cramped in that cage,” said Bongo Bean Boy while dazing into The Chilly Philly’s eyes.
“You’re welcome,” complimented The Chilly Philly as she gave Bongo Bean Boy a kiss on his cheek, and to their surprise, Cinnamon Girl also gave Taco Man a kiss too. The two brothers were most likely in love because they both fell over with smiles on their faces. As it turns out, Cinnamon Girl actually quit working with The Burgernator. Some time ago she ran away but The Burgernator found her. now she was working for him once again, and that is why she tried to fight The Chilly Philly.
Love is in the Air
Throughout the whole week, Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy were head over heals for Cinnamon Girl and The Chilly Philly. They got so attached that they started a fan club. The two brothers would fight over who the fan club would be about; The Chilly Philly or Cinnamon Girl. Eventually they decided that it would be about super girls, and shortly after that they started arguing about who would be president and who would be co-president of the club; that argument hasn’t ended yet. The girls were leaving so they gave the boys a good-night kiss (on their cheeks), then they forgot all about it. The next day, they got a phone call, and on the phone was Taco Man’s and Bongo Bean Boy’s mother!?
“Hello deary, I am coming for a visit tomorrow. Oh, and by the way, turn the TV on to channel 17. I have a commercial on in 3 minutes. Bye hun, see you soon!” *sound of phone hanging up*
“Bye, mommy,” said Taco Man to the phone.
“Taco Man, what’s wrong? It looks like you just saw a ghost,” said Bongo Bean Boy in a worried voice.
“Mom is coming for a visit,” said Taco Man with a look on his face that looked like he did just see a ghost.
“Honey, I’m Home!”
“Hurry Bongo Bean Boy, tell the girls that they can’t come tomorrow for the Lost Pony marathon, and for the rest of the week!” shouted Taco Man in a rush.
“What! I have been waiting all week for this! I even got my Lost Pony T-shirt clean! Why a whole week?” asked Bongo Bean Boy.
“Because, remember mom usually stays for at least a week!” shouted Taco Man in a rush.
“Ok, but first I have to go and turn on the TV to channel 17!” said Bongo Bean Boy.
“Why?” asked Taco Man.
“Because Mom said her new commercial was going to be on right now!” answered Bongo Bean Boy.
“Ok well hurry!” said Taco Man trying to frantically clean for their mother’s visit. *TV turning on*
“Woah! Taco Man get over here!” shouted Bongo Bean Boy. *Music of TV*
“I’m Hollay, Hollay, Hollay, Hollay, Hollay, Hollay, Hollay, Hollay, Jalipano! To the top! I’m Hollay, Jalipano. I said goodbye to many times befoooooore! Word!” sang Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy’s mother wearing her old super suit and dancing.
“What was that?” asked Taco Man as their eyes were glued to the television screen watching their 60 year-old mother dance around in her old super suit. They almost fainted.
“That was, um, interesting. What did you think Taco Man?” asked Bongo Bean Boy in a confused voice.
“It was… um, fascinating to see that Mother still has her outfit, and still dancing at her age,” said Taco Man, still stunned. The two super heroes watched that commercial replay over and over and over again, and by the time it cut to a TV show they realized that Mother was going to be there in 20 minutes!
“Bongo Bean Boy, wake up! Snap out of the trance! Mother will be here in like 19 minutes, we have to clean!” shouted Taco Man just waking from the trance caused by the commercial.
“Where’s the trouble!? Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy to the rescue!” shouted Bongo Bean Boy as he awoke from his long trance.
“Wake up,” said Taco Man shaking Bongo Bean Boy so much that he almost flung him out the window.
“Stop it! Stop it! I’m awake, what’s wrong?” shouted Bongo Bean Boy as he was being flung around in his chair.
“Mother is coming soon!” announced Taco Man still shaking Bongo Bean Boy enough to make him lose many brain cells.
“Duh, mom is coming, she called today!” Bongo Bean Boy stated calmly as he did fall out of his chair.
“No! Today was yesterday,” corrected Taco Man.
“Huh? Please explain,” said Bongo Bean Boy sounding very confused.
“Okay! See, we must have dozed off during the commercials, and that means that today mother is coming in like, 16 minutes! Ok, ok, ok, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. I know what to do! We only have to clean super fast!” directed Taco Man.
“And you think that is going to work?” questioned Bongo Bean Boy doubtfully.
“Yes, if we work together. Now I will clean the kitchen and the living room, you will clean the bathroom and the guest room. Ready. Go!” directed Taco Man in a stressed voice.
“Ah man. Why do I have to clean the bathroom every time? I mean I have to clean the toilet every week already! Why can’t you clean the bathroom this time?” whined Bongo Bean Boy.
“Because you are the one with the toilet cleaner power, duh!” answered Taco Man.
“Oh, well that makes sense. Hey, wait a minute! I don’t have the toilet cleaner power, that’s Uncle Fred!” shouted Bongo Bean Boy.
“Ok fine I’ll clean the bathroom this time but you have to clean the kitchen.” replied Taco Man.
“Ok! Lets get to work `cause Mother will be here in uh… 6 minutes! hurry clean!” said Bongo Bean Boy now in a good mood because he didn’t have to clean the bathroom.
“Yeah whatever,” said Taco Man in a annoyed mood because he had to clean the bathroom. Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy were cleaning super fast, but not fast enough because when they were 2 minutes into their cleaning…
“Hey guys we’re here for the Lost Pony marathon!” said Cinnamon Girl and The Chilly Philly at the same time.
“Oh no! Bongo Bean Boy, I thought you said you called them and told them we can’t do the Lost Pony marathon!” whispered Taco Man frantically to Bongo Bean Boy.
“Oh no! I was going to do it after the commercial, but since we fell into a trance I forgot! What are we going to do?” asked Bongo Bean Boy in a worried voice.
“I will tell them that we have plans, and that they can come back next week for the marathon!” whispered Taco Man back to Bongo Bean Boy.
“Good idea, you go, I will continue cleaning, quietly.” Bongo Bean Boy confirmed. Taco Man walked out of the bathroom and into the living room where the two girls were and the girls said “Oh there you are! We were wondering where you where. Where is Bongo Bean Boy?” asked Cinnamon Girl as the two girls looked around.“Uh, he is cleaning. Hey can you two not come by for a week minimum? We have, uh, stuff going on,” Taco Man explained hoping that they would understand.
“Ok. But why a week?” asked The Chilly Philly.
“Because we have plans.” said Taco Man hoping that he hadn’t hurt their feelings.
“All week? What do you two boys have planned?” asked Cinnamon Girl sounding suspicious.
“Uh…” as Taco Man was trying to get words out of his mouth, Bongo Bean Boy came in.
“Hey Taco Man! Are the girls gone yet?” asked Bongo Bean Boy as he was walking into the living room his mouth opened wide and just stared at Taco Man for 5 seconds. Then his gaze rested on Cinnamon Girl and the Chilly Philly, and his face turned a deep shade of red.
“Heh, heh. This is awkward. Can I talk with Taco Man for just a minute? Yeah thank you.” said Bongo Bean Boy as he pulled Taco Man away into the hallway.
“What are they still doing here?” asked Bongo Bean Boy impatiently.
“Well I had a little trouble getting them to leave,” replied Taco Man, sounding guilty.
“OK. Well you have to get… Hey, what is going on in the living room? I hear a familiar voice.” wondered Bongo Bean Boy.
“I don’t know, but lets find out,” said Taco Man curiously.
“Mother!? Oh no Taco Man, she’s early! I forgot she comes 13 minutes early every time! Oh no, and everything is still a mess! She trusted us to be responsible to live all by ourselves! What are we gonna do?” whispered Bongo Bean Boy.
“Just play along,” whispered Taco Man. Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy walked out to the living room and tried to run to the bedroom but unfortunately the were caught.
“Stevykins! Edywedykins! is that you?” asked their mother running up to them to give them a big kiss (on their cheeks). After she kissed them, they both started running around screaming, “My cheek, my beautiful cheek!”
“Oh, I am so sorry i left my jalapeño dentures in again. Silly me.”
“Mother?” asked Bongo Bean Boy, looking even more confused than earlier.
“What, don’t you recognize your own mother?! Oh, I know what it is. It’s my new face. You see, the store was having a get a leg wax free if you get a botox and a lip wax at De La Rip Off Facial. And so I decided to take the chance, how do you think I look?” asked Holly Jalapeño a.k.a. Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy’s mother. Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy were momentarily speechless.
“You look, you look, ravishing?” said Taco Man who looked even more stunned than he did while watching the commercial.
“Great! Well, I have two questions, 1. Who are these lovely girls? and 2. Did you like the commercial?” asked Holly.
“They are our neighbors. They stopped by for a cup of sugar,” said Taco Man, then he tried to spell out ‘I’ll explain later’ to the girls, when his mother turned to look at them.
“Darling, where is Edward?” Holly asked Taco Man (Steve).
“Oh, he is in the kitchen getting a bowl of beans,” said Taco Man getting more and more nervous the longer his mother was there. Bongo Bean Boy came into the living room and gave The Chilly Philly a kiss on her cheek. She smiled at him, and he smiled at her. They were happy until Holly came over and saw the way she looked into his eyes and the way he looked into her eyes. Then she knew that she wasn’t their neighbor. Edward (Bongo Bean Boy) was in love with The Chilly Philly, and The Chilly Philly was in love with him. She knew it for two reasons. The way they looked into each other’s eyes and because when she tapped on him, he didn’t do anything. During that whole week, Holly and her sons had some great fun; except Bongo Bean Boy got sick on the ferris wheel after eating too many pickled beans at the carnival. That week was the best week that Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy have ever had, so they say.

Holly Jalapeño Vs. The Burgernator
“Are you sure you have to go? I mean you have only been here for a week,” asked Bongo Bean Boy and Taco Man.
“I am sorry boys, but I came just for a visit and you know my motto,” said Holly
“A pepper doesn’t have much room with a can of beans and a taco,” mumbled Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy.
“Very good, you understand don’t you?” asked Holly
“Yes mommy.” said Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy sounding very sad.
“Goodbye Edywedy.” said Holly as she gave him a kiss on his forehead.
“Goodbye Mumzywumzy,” sniffled Bongo Bean Boy hugging his mommy.
“Goodbye Stevywevy.” said Holly as she gave Taco Man a kiss on his forehead too.
“Goodbye Mommywommy.” said Taco Man trying not to cry while hugging his mommy.
“Stevykins, could you take my bags out to the car? Edywedykins can you help him?” asked Holly.
“Sure, mommy,” said Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy. The two brothers walked out to Holly’s fire red hot rod to put the bags in the trunk when… suddenly out of nowhere The Burgernator jumped out and captured Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy. Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy started crying for help. “Help! Mommy Help us The Burgernay..” screamed Taco Man but before he could finish The Burgernator stuffed his mouth with raw hamburger meat.
“Who is calling my name? Oh no! Taco Man, Bongo Bean Boy! Mommy’s coming,” shouted Holly.
“Holly Jalapeño! I thought you retired!” remarked The Burgernator to Holly Jalapeño.
“I did, but now I’m back on top, and ready for action! Didn’t you see my commercial?” asked Holly Jalapeño.
“Oh no. I am so sorry. Here, I have my portable TV in my back pocket. What channel?” asked The Burgernator as he pulled the portable TV from his back pocket.
“Uh.. channel 17,” said Holly Jalapeño.
“Okay, here we go. Channel 17. There, it should start right about, now!” explained The Burgernator. Holly Jalapeño and The Burgernator watched the commercial while Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy looked very confused. After The Burgernator and Holly Jalapeño were done watching the commercial, The Burgernator had the same look on his face that Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy had on their faces when they watched the comercial.
“Now where were we?” asked The Burgernator.
“I believe that you were trying to escape with my boys. But, that won’t happen because I am gonna kick your butt!” shouted Holly as she started to hit him with her Jalapeño salmon sushi slap.
“Ahhhhh!!! You new that I am allergic to salmon!” *coughing a lot of coughing* “You are evil,” cried The Burgernator. “I need my inhaler!!”
“No, actually I am not evil. I am Holly Jalapeño, the best super woman ever! Not counting Cat Chow Woman.” Holly threw The Burgernator into jail and finally left to go back home and of course untied Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy and The Burgernator was never seen in Food-Topia again. But I believe I heard that he was spotted working in a meat factory making meat patties. Well there you have it. You wanted a story and you got one. But there was one thing I forgot to mention, Taco Man and Bongo Bean Boy married their true loves two years later. Taco Man married his dream girl Cinnamon Girl. Bongo Bean Boy got hitched to, yes that is right, The Chilly Philly. The four super heroes still fight crime to replace evil with good to this day, and they all lived happily. Ever. After.
The End